


Teatime

by Kuronekochan



Series: The Gift [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst, Bottom Sirius Black, Boypussy, Eventual Smut, Forced Bonding, Gender Roles, Implied Mpreg, Intersex, Intimidation, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Threats, Top Lucius Malfoy, Victorian Attitudes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:33:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23041027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuronekochan/pseuds/Kuronekochan
Summary: Hogwart's is a school with a wide range of clubs and activities to appeal to their varied Pureblood, Half-blood, and Muggleborn population.  The Hogwarts Tea Club is one of these such clubs and it should be noted that one would never officially call it a dating club, of course.  But really, that is exactly the point of the Tea Club and the exact reason why one Sirius Black finds himself sharing tea with blonde and stuck up Pureblood Slytherin Lucius Malfoy, who so happens to also be his betrothed.  Not that the two of them are ever going to get married.  Because they're not.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Lucius Malfoy
Series: The Gift [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633429
Comments: 69
Kudos: 251





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, I've done it again. But when inspiration strikes it's better to go along with it lol. Although couple interactions between Sirius and Lucius will still take place in the main fic, Irrevocably, I will use this fic to write up little interactions between the two of them as inspiration presents itself (mostly for moments that I want to explore which may not fit into the current flow/timeline of Irrevocably). Also, the inevitable smut which will take place between the pair will be featured here hehe so there's that :P

As steeped in tradition as the wizarding world can be, it is almost a wonder that a co-ed school such as Hogwarts still manages to find enrollment within the uptight Pureblood circles throughout Great Britain. Sure, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang are a bit further from home than Hogwarts but with the traditional courses that are taught, both schools remain a popular choice for parents who want their children to attend either an all-boys school or an all-girls school. That is not to say that Hogwarts doesn’t offer similar courses, but where a course may be mandatory at one of the other two schools, at Hogwarts it may very well be an elective.

Thus, Hogwarts is popular both with the traditional crowd, and the newer blood that began taking root in the wizarding world, be it through Half-blood families or Muggleborn ones. Parents who follow the Old Ways will naturally see to it that their child adhere to a more traditional education, fleshed out with the appropriate electives, while those of a different grain may see no need to hinder their child’s education solely based on one’s sex.

Of course, Purebloods cannot deny how lovely and poised the witches of Beauxbaton are, or how strong and capable the wizards of Durmstrang are. Yet, even so, Hogwarts still sees a healthy population of Purebloods fill its halls and the main reason for such a thing is precisely due to the fact that Hogwarts is a co-ed school. Contracts, procreation, the longevity of a family line is of the utmost importance to the average Pureblood and while it’s not uncommon to form such contracts at birth, concerns such as squibs have always made it a pragmatic choice to wait until the children in question are older.

This concern results in a healthy number of contractless witches and wizards who, upon completion of their education, would be thrust into society with the immediate purpose of securing a good match. Parties are thrown and conversations are had as the London social season takes off, a prime time for finding and securing such matches. And although it is indeed pragmatic to wait, to pass up an opportunity of a good match just because it’s a bit early for a season would start, would be foolish. These sentiments is exactly how Hogwarts finds itself key to parents creating boarding school contracts. That is not to say that other schools such as Beauxbatons and Durmstrang do not experience the same. But for those schools, it really takes an extraordinary student making a name for his or herself, such as Grindelwald had, in order to secure a contract at boarding school.

For Hogwarts, the level of acclaim necessary is not nearly as high as students can take on a more direct role as they keep in contact with their parents. All of Hogwarts classes, activities, and clubs are open to both sexes, which allow the students more opportunities to interact with the opposite sex than students attending other schools segregated by sex. Education, however, is the main point of school and any activities and clubs naturally, are to stick to their subject area. That is why Hogwarts has one very unique club whose sole purpose is for social interactions between the sexes.

From an outside perspective, one might call it a dating club, although Hogwarts would never call it that. The club in question is the Hogwarts Tea Club, active on the weekends where students could come and share tea with another friend. The club is of course supervised by a member of staff, so the students are sufficiently chaperoned while they enjoy tea and conversation with their partner. Some students might only share tea once with a person, while others may share tea many times together as their bonds deepen. Usually, such pairings are dictated by the parents, who write to their students with instructions on who to share tea with. At the conclusion of the activity the parents, of course, will expect a letter back, with details of how teatime went.

A simple conversation isn’t nearly enough to decide something as important as a contract, but if things go well, parents can use the weekend activity to weed through potential matches for their child. Sometimes parents can get lucky and find a suitable match relatively easy, but with Hogwart’s sizeable Half-blood population, some contracts could take years as parents use this time for their child to build up a suitable reputation. In fact, the Hogwarts Tea Club is not typically attended by first or second years. That is, not unless they fall into Sirius’ category.

Sirius Black, as most are probably aware of due to the engagement announcement in the society section, happens to already have a contract and thus is betrothed to one Lucius Malfoy. Even so, for the two to be alone before marriage would still cause quite a bit of gossip and potential scandal. Therefore, Hogwarts Tea Club is often frequented by couples who are already engaged to one another, as a way for them to get to know each other before the inevitable marriage. Sirius has no desire to get to know Lucius Malfoy at all—still stubbornly convinced that he’s not going to marry the Slytherin—yet the fear of being whisked out of school to only find himself married and with a _child_ at _thirteen_ is absolutely terrifying.

He’d fainted like a bloody pansy at the news but as much as he wants to punch Lucius in his stupidly smug face, Sirius begrudgingly (silently) finds himself only an itsy bitsy super tiny wee little bit...grateful. His mum certainly hadn’t informed him about the little agreement she has with Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy. Sure, she’d warned him to behave and such but after nearly twelve years she has to know that Sirius would ignore her words. Or, he would have if he wasn’t so bloody terrified right now.

“Relax, Sirius. I’m a gentleman, you can ask your cousins. We’re just going to share a bit of tea and pastries—whatever the house-elves happen to be serving today—and then we’re going to leave. Naturally, I’ll escort you back to your room and we shan’t have to deal with each other for another two weeks. How absolutely splendid.”

Sirius snorts at the thought. “Pff, yea. Splendid for you, maybe.”

“Ah ah, Sirius. We’ve already had this discussion.”

“If you really want to get to know me, we wouldn’t be here parading around like we actually like each other.”

“I think I know well enough about that rebellious side of yours already, Sirius. I’m more interested in how you behave in public when you have the eyes of society upon you.”

Sirius just glares, but at the pale blonde brow arched in his direction Sirius forces his features to smooth. He wants to leave, Merlin he wants to _leave_. There’re a thousand other things he’d rather be doing right now than having tea with bloody Lucius Malfoy but he spots a grin and a flash of hazel eyes across the room that has him taking in a deep breath and relaxing. James is here. He’s here with Severus of course, but he’s here.

“You don’t need to escort me back to my rooms. I’m going to play quidditch with James afterward anyway.”

Lucius lets out a small snort and Sirius finds himself irritated that the noise somehow seems as elegant as the rest of the blonde’s veneer when coming from Malfoy. “How uncouth, to bring you here and then send you off with another man.”

“We’re already betrothed so it’s not like it matters.”

“It matters to me,” says Lucius as the tea and snacks finally materialize on their table. Lucius reaches out a hand to pour first Sirius a cup, and then himself before adding a sugar cube to his tea. 

“What, worried?” There’s a taunt in Sirius’ voice and a small smirk on his lips as he watches Lucius stirring the steamy liquid. 

Lucius just laughs. “Of course not. I know you’ve spent your whole life trying to be a man’s man or what have you. I don’t need to worry about boys giving you more than half a look, so if you wish to continue with your quidditch and whatnot, I have no issues with it. In fact, I would be more concerned if my betrothed were sweet little Severus Princess.” Sirius flushes a bit at the name which Lucius sees once his head tilts back from viewing the table that Sirius had glanced at earlier, the table with James and Severus having their own date. “Oh, did you come up with that little quip? I thought it most amusing, a bit fitting as well.”

“I didn’t say that,” Sirius quickly lies, because if James finds out that the Severus Princess thing got out he’d be bloody furious.

“Oh really?” asks Lucius with a smirk before picking up his tea and taking a small sip. “It seems like something you’d come up with. _Juvenile_.”

“Who told you that?” growls Sirius in annoyance. “Tom?”

“Tom?” asks Lucius, brow arching in question. “Ah, you mean Professor Slytherin. Hmm...I can’t say.”

“Whatever.”

Lucius laughs again. “If you wish to end our time together as quickly as possible, I would suggest you drink your tea, Sirius. Also, I imagine Mr. Potter will have his hands quite full swatting away buzzing, curious flies, from _that_ to want to stay here for much longer.”

“What?” asks Sirius, confused. Lucius just gives a discreet nod of his head here and there, and when Sirius looks, he does find himself faced with the odd reality of more than a few boys with gazes trained on Severus. Sirius makes a noise of disgust. 

Lucius smirks. “I find your reaction...ever so charming,” Lucius says, chuckling before taking another sip of tea. “Drink up, dear.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Lucius makes a noncommittal noise, enjoying some pastries now before Sirius finally joins him in consuming the goods that were placed in front of them. “At our engagement party, you turned red, you know, when you had to sing.”

“So?”

“You should get some practice. You don’t have a bad voice. And of course, once we are married, you’ll be expected to entertain guests in a similar manner.”

“We’re not getting married.”

“So you say. Yet here you are.”

“I’m only here because you _threatened me_.”

“Now really, Sirius, that’s a bit harsh. In fact, a decent person would give their thanks as I certainly did not need to go out of my way to track you down and inform you of your situation. Not that you shouldn’t have been aware of it already, of course. And after you’d _already_ made a fool of yourself in front of the entire Great Hall too. How utterly droll.”

“Shut up.”

“Really, one wonders if Walburga perhaps should have used just a few more hexes in her disciplining of you.”

“I said _shut up._ ”

Lucius’ smile is like the glint of a knife as he turns icy blue eyes to Sirius. “You will refrain from speaking to me in such a manner,” he says, and perhaps the words would have been more menacing if his voice didn’t crack halfway through because of the wonderful joys of puberty, ha.

Except...that doesn’t stop Sirius’ pulse from racing and his palms from sweating. He’s not scared of Lucius Malfoy. _He’s not_. It’s just...he’s terrified of the very real future of being a thirteen-year-old bride and mother. Because if he ever needed any proof of that reality he doesn’t need to look any further than his own bloody family.

“Sorry,” Sirius mumbles, pulse still racing and palms still sweaty but if he has to play nice with Malfoy for the next seven years then he will. Actually, he’ll only need to worry about the next three years since Lucius will graduate before him. The thought is like a small ray of sunshine in the otherwise gloomy world that is currently his life.

“It looks like your little friend is nearly finished and I think I’ve had my fill for the day. In a fortnight; same time, same place. Don’t make me wait again and you will wear the proper robes next time, understand?”

“...yes.”

“Good.” Lucius gives him a smile that’s no less intimidating than the previous one as he rises to his feet. Sirius moves to follow but a sharp look from Lucius suddenly has him stilling. 

_’Oh, right’_ thinks Sirius, as Lucius moves behind him to pull out his seat, and then to offer a hand. Sirius doesn’t want to take the hand but after an awkward beat of silence were the two just stare at each other, he does. It’s almost strange, how warm Lucius’ hand is since the rest of him seems so cold, but the feeling doesn’t last long as he’s drawn to his feet. As quickly as their hands had touched, Lucius releases him. Their lack of physical contact is shortlived, however, because Sirius knows what the next part of this little play they’re putting on entails. Sirius takes in a deep breath and then steps forward to Lucius’ elbow so that the two can loop their arms before heading out of the converted classroom.

James follows after him with Severus on his arm, and Sirius has to dig the nails of his fingers into his hand so that he doesn’t scream.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case there are any new readers who haven't touched Irrevocably (part of the series) there are two things to note:
> 
> 1) Sirius Black and Severus Snape are male bearers, typically referred to as those with the gift, these two men (as well as Dumbledore and Riddle), were born with the ability to give birth as they're intersex (have both male and female genitalia), hence the intersex tag.
> 
> 2) Some of the references made in this chapter (and even the previous one) are to things directly mentioned in Chapter 15 of Irrevocably, so even if you don't want to read the whole fic as it Severus focused, Chapter 15 is focused on Sirius Black and his interaction with Lucius Malfoy.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

“I see James isn’t here this time,” says Lucius, the blonde as stupidly elegant as ever as he pours them tea. 

Sirius squirms in his seat a bit, uncomfortable, but no surprise there. He hates these robes. The collar is too high and the hem too low. He’d wanted to wear a pair of trousers underneath as he usually would when forced to dress so, but the robes had bunched terribly and he just knows Lucius would have thrown a fit about it. Not that it matters, he doesn’t _care_ how Lucius’ feels but...Sirius growing up with Walburga as his mother had taught Sirius to choose his battles wisely. He doesn’t always follow his own advice but in this instance, three years of concessions is worth his freedom. And after graduation, once Sirius has his OWLs and NEWTs and is a legal adult, the first thing he’s doing is running for the bloody hills.

“I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t need James to follow me around everywhere,” he spits out, not wanting to admit why the other Gryffindor is absent from the Hogwarts Tea Club this week.

Lucius smirks. “More like you don’t want your best mate to see you all dolled up or he may start treating you like the Ravenclaw Princess.”

Sirius grits his teeth, grey eyes as sharp as gunmetal as he glares at the blonde. “Queer _and_ a pedo. How very fitting, Malfoy.”

“You will watch that mouth of yours, Sirius dear,” Lucius hisses, icy eyes glancing around the room fervently as he tries to spot any noticeable reactions that would have given away if someone had overheard the Gryffindor. “If I were actually a pedo I’d tell you to wear the proper undies next time.”

“W-what!?”

“Quiet,” Lucius hisses. “Before you cause a scene.” Sirius just glares. “Your boxer shorts are creating unseemly lines in your robes, and really, it makes one question why your parents even saw fit to buy you such things.”

Sirius flushes a bit because he’s not going to admit that every time Regulus gets new undies he steals a couple of pairs. “Only pedos care about what undies children wear.”

“Didn’t you just say you’re not a kid anymore? You’re no longer in primary school,” Lucius says with an exasperated sigh. “In fact, if you want to draw less attention to those pretty robes of yours, then sticking out like a sore thumb is the opposite of what one should be doing.”

“There’s nothing you can say that’s going to get me to wear bloody _knickers_ ,” Sirius spits out, arms crossing over his chest in anger as he scowls at the teenager seated across from him.

“Wear a cloak next time.”

“What?”

Lucius finally takes a sip of his tea after having let it cool down to a drinkable temperature. “I don’t care if you wear trunks or knickers but there’s hardly any purpose in wearing the proper robes if you refuse to wear the proper undies to go with it. At least with a cloak, you can disguise the whole mess until you’re seated, safely out of sight.”

“Malfoy, you can’t just order me around however you want to and I’m not a bloody doll for you to play dress-up with.”

“Sirius, we are to be wed one day. If we cannot be friends I would at least have us be allies. You are making these interactions of ours harder than they have to be. We should be working together, not fighting, as we get to know each other. A man shouldn’t have to come home to a house at war, you know.”

Sirius snorts. “What? Is that how it is when you go home to sweet ol’ Malfoy Manor?”

“Drink your tea, Sirius.”

“What, did I hit a nerve just now?”

“Malfoy Manor is in perfect harmony,” says Lucius, to which Sirius offers another snort. Lucius’ eyes narrow marginally. “When, however, mother should find herself out of line, father is ever quick to _put her back in her place_. You understand, don’t you?”

That question, those words, give Sirius a terrible sense of déjà vu. It’s just like the first time they’d spoken at Hogwarts, a little over a month ago, and the sensation is enough to make Sirius feel as though he’s being doused in cold water.

“You’re disgusting,” Sirius gasps out, face pale as his voice waivers over the words.

“If you don’t keep antagonizing me, then I won’t have to be. Besides, from all those lovely quips of yours, a bit of discipline isn’t anything you aren’t already familiar with.”

“You’re _wrong_ ,” Sirius gasps out, almost choking over the words as he focuses on sucking in deep breaths of air.

“Clearly,” is Lucius’ dry response. “If you actually got disciplined as much as you try to insinuate then I doubt you’d be half the rebel you are. Coffee cake?” Sirius gives Lucius an incredulous look as the man carefully places a slice of coffee cake onto a saucer before placing it in front of the brunette. “Two sugars, right?” asks Lucius, not bothering to wait for a response as he drops the sugar cubes into Sirius’ tea.

“...you’re bloody mad,” says Sirius, voice barely above a whisper and full of horror as he stares at Lucius.

“Unlike you, Sirius, I can play nice.” Lucius adds a dollop of fresh cream to Sirius’ tea before offering the younger boy a smile that...is almost genuine enough to classify as deeply frightening. Sirius just stares, heart racing, and when Lucius gestures down to the tea and cake Sirius finally digs in because he doesn’t know what else to do. Suddenly, the next three years seem a lot longer, and more unbearable than he’d originally anticipated.

Sirius has to dig the nails of his fingers into his hand so that he doesn’t scream.


	3. Chapter 3

The next time they meet, Sirius is wearing the aforementioned cloak. Lucius helps him out of it, much to Sirius’ consternation. He even pulls out a chair for Sirius—no surprise there—before the two of them are seated across from each other in what’s beginning to become quite the chore for one Sirius Black. Yet, if Sirius actually took a moment to consider Lucius’ side of things, then he could perhaps say the same for the other wizard. But on the rare occasions that Sirius does take the time to think of others, his thoughts tend to stop once they reach his best mate or little brother.

“You look lovely today, Sirius.” At the compliment, Sirius scowls. “Not quite the reaction such words typically inspire.”

“Shut up.”

“I’ve warned you, time and again, about that mouth of yours, Sirius. I detest repeating myself so let’s not make this a trend. And why so sensitive? One would think you’ve never encountered a compliment before.”

“I’m not a bloody girl; I don’t care how I look.”

“You say that and yet from even the briefest of observations, you can be quite the vain little peacock, Sirius.”

“No, Malfoy, that’s you.”

Sirius glares across the table at Lucius, and there’s a beat of silence between the two before the blonde continues. “When you take but the most basic of care, you’re pretty enough even to rival the competition.”

“What competition?” asks Sirius, brows furrowed as he stares at a smirking Malfoy. “And I’m not pretty,” he adds, almost as an afterthought. The smirk on Lucius’ face grows.

“Why, Severus Snape, of course. Who else would I be speaking of? Narcissa?”

“I don’t care what that prissy Princess gets up to and you can leave Narcissa out of this.”

“Well, Bellatrix would have been a more apt comparison considering how much you two favor each other,” a smirking Lucius muses before continuing. “I do wonder, however, if Mr. Potter would take some issue in hearing you speak so about his betrothed, especially when the words are from his best mate. Indeed, I hear he’s currently wrapping up the tail end of a week’s worth of detention from getting in a duel with two other students over sweet little Princess Snivellus.”

“If you like Severus so much you can just marry him and leave me alone,” Sirius growls, gaze narrowed and voice low.

“Ah…and you would have me do that so that _you_ can marry a certain Mr. Potter?”

“What!? I don’t want to marry James,” snaps Sirius, almost gagging over the words because _yuck_. If Sirius has it his way he won't be marrying anyone.

Malfoy arches a calculating brow at Sirius’ reaction, the blonde languidly sipping at the tea he’d prepared before he speaks. “Hmm. Your reaction seems genuine enough. _Honest_ in a way that’s rare coming from you; most of your protest tend to be nothing more than a weak, childish defense. Such as your responses to being called pretty.” That word has a small growl escaping Sirius, which in turn produces a chuckle from Lucius. “Fear not, Sirius dear. By the time we are wed you shall be more than use to hearing such things from me.”

“In case you forgot, we’re not getting bloody married, so you don’t need to waste your time on useless flattery.”

“You are mistaken, Sirius. There is no such thing as useless flattery. But if you are concerned about my own sincerity in saying such things, fear not. In this case, flattery is absolutely unnecessary, I assure you.” Sirius stares at Lucius blankly, causing Malfoy to elaborate. “I spoke the truth.”

“What?”

“You’re pretty. No surprise there, however,” says Malfoy, pausing to sip at his tea again. “You are a Black, after all. Bellatrix still has a number of admirers, regardless of the fact that she’s a married woman now. Narcissa has no lack of suitors and Andromeda, despite being the recipient of the LeStrange contract, can be found enjoying a bit of tea with some besotted fool in the very same club that we ourselves are currently enjoying. You may try to fight it all you like but it’s impossible to hide that fine pedigree of yours.”

“Stop just…stop, _please_.”

Lucius seems genuinely perplexed. That, or he’s a better actor than Sirius originally thought. “Whatever for?” asks Lucius. “You come from a line that even other Purebloods envy. And unlike other lines, such as Crabbe and Goyle, the Blacks seem to grow more enchanting with each passing generation. Tis not a blessing of Elphame that one should take lightly although you’ve managed to do your best in your poor attempts to throw it all away.”

“Stop speaking as though you know anything about me, Malfoy.”

A part of Sirius expects Lucius to bite back at the words, to lash out with a challenge of his own. Instead, Malfoy just makes a hum of consideration as he stares at Sirius with two gleaming pale blue eyes. “Well, Sirius, perhaps you are right. And to that, one would say tis exactly the reason we are here, sharing tea as we take the time to get to know each other. I had thought every fortnight would suffice yet now I wonder…”

“ _No,_ no! I mean…” Sirius trails off as he nervously licks his lips, not blind to the fact that Malfoy’s gaze had turned a bit icier at the loud exclamation. “You’re right, of course.”

“Certainly,” says Malfoy, voice almost considering although that thin veneer does nothing to hide the smugness behind the words.

“Yea…” says Sirius, because what does it matter if Malfoy wants to feel so full of himself, spouting out such nonsense about him as though he actually knows two things about Sirius? It’s an easy concession, allowing Malfoy to think what he will, as to not have to be subject to Lucius’ presence more than he already is.

Stuck in his own thoughts, Sirius doesn’t see the smirk that his agreement has caused to curve up Lucius’ face, but he certainly hears it in the words that the blonde next speaks. “Then you can agree that while true, there may still be much to learn of your inner workings, that I am a man who can access the physical readily enough, yes?”

“Er…yea, sure.”

“Very good.” 

Sirius just nods, not exactly sure where Malfoy is going with this since most of his attention is taken up with the silent mantra of, _‘every fortnight, every fortnight, every fortnight.’_ Sirius already doesn’t want to be inflicted with Malfoy’s presence, therefore, twice a month is definitely preferable to _every bloody weekend._

__

__

“Then, the next time I should deign to give you a compliment, I should expect some form of gratitude or reciprocation.” 

“What?” 

“I do understand that reciprocation may be a bit much for you at this early stage in our relationship, so I shall happily accept a smile and a ‘thank you.’ I do believe that’s not too much to ask for.” 

_“What?”_

Lucius ignores Sirius' question, instead offering the brunette a knowing smile that’s definitely more of a smirk. “You look lovely today, Sirius.” 

Sirius stares at him, face going red and forced to practically bite at the tip of his own tongue to keep his usual, knee-jerk response at bay. He just needs to remember the mantra of every fortnight. Yes, every fortnight. If he thinks of that then he can get through this. It’s not until Malfoy is arching a brow at him, gaze narrowing dangerously that Sirius manages to choke the words out. 

“Thank you.” 

The smile that Sirius forces upon his face is nearly a grimace, and probably just as unflattering, although Lucius doesn’t seem to mind. At least, he doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, the blonde just lets out one of those hums of consideration as he finishes up his tea and biscuits. 

Sirius has to dig the nails of his fingers into his hand so that he doesn’t scream. 


	4. Chapter 4

“You look lovely today, Sirius.” Malfoy repeats those same words he’d said to Sirius a fortnight ago, but unlike the last time he’d made such claims, Sirius doesn’t grin and bear it.

Instead, Sirius offers Lucius a large smile that could have almost been genuine if not for the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “And you’re looking _especially pretty_ today, Lucius Malfoy.”

The smirk that had only been previously hinted at finally takes over Sirius’ face as he makes the bold proclamation, proud of himself for not only finding a way out of saying ‘thank you’ to Malfoy’s ridiculous flattery but having found a way to get back at the older student. Lucius has said that Sirius should reciprocate when receiving such praise. It’s only fitting to throw back the words that Malfoy had said about him right in the blonde’s stupidly smug face.

“Why thank you, Sirius,” says Malfoy, a smirk on the Slytherin’s face now as he observes the unadulterated surprise flashing in those grey eyes. “Little of our previous interactions gave me reason to believe yourself to be a connoisseur of such things. In fact, I find myself curious as to what has inspired such heartfelt claims from you.”

“Er…”

“Do tell,” says Malfoy, smirk firmly in place as he stares at Sirius with amusement shining behind his pale gaze.

Stupid bloody git. Sirius will show him. “Your…hair,” he says lamely, not knowing what else to say as he is quite unprepared for this sort of reaction from the blonde, and as such, is subsequently put on the spot by Malfoy’s inquiries. But even unprepared, Sirius quickly finds his answer to be a good one considering Malfoy’s long, pale locks are probably the girliest thing on the blonde. Why does he even grow them out in the first place?

“Your hair has its own charm as well. The curls are quite fetching and are the envy of quite a few witches who have to spend their weekends making potions to achieve a similar effect.” Sirius gapes at him in shock, prompting another smirk from Lucius as the blonde continues. “Even though you greatly favor Bellatrix, I find your hair closer to Andromeda’s in more than color alone. If you grew it out a bit more, I’m sure the curls would settle more loosely, as hers do.”

“What in the bloody hell are you even talking about? If this is some creepy way to get me to grow my hair out then you can just stop. Oh, and you can keep your pervy eyes off my family while you’re at it.”

“I’ve told you time and again about that mouth of yours, Sirius. It seems I will be forced to pen a post to Mrs. Black, as she’s assured my family that she’s prepared the necessary deterrents needed to keep you in line.”

Sirius laughs. “Yea, right. Like you actually want to be married at fourteen? That’s laughable.”

“Who said anything about marriage?”

“W-what?” asks Sirius, tripping over the words because he’s completely taken aback by the question. From that very first threat of Malfoy’s, the power in getting Sirius to comply had lied in the legitimate fear of Sirius being a child bride. Now Malfoy’s talking as though he’s never even said such a thing!

“Oh, don’t be confused,” says Lucius. “If you can’t fix your atrocious behavior then you most certainly will be pulled from school and we’ll be wed with the same flair as all the other teenage weddings your family seems so fond of. However, there are a list of precautions that your parents are more than happy to dole out if you continue to be a _disrespectful little cretin._ ”

Sirius gives a humorless laugh. “Yea, like what? No more _pretty little robes?_ Ha, like I care.”

Lucius just smiles at him, although the gesture doesn’t reach the iciness of his gaze. “No, nothing like that,” he says, voice almost bored as he stares at the Gryffindor. “No clubs, Hogsmeade, quidditch. You know, just all the little things that one does at Hogwarts which require parental consent. That’s just the start of it, really. I hear there’s a long list that gets progressively worse until your inevitable withdrawal from school. But don’t worry, the list isn’t _that_ long.”

The smile on Lucius’ face had transformed into a smirk as he spoke to the seething brunette. Sirius finds Lucius' words completely outrageous, bloody infuriating! Yet…it sounds like something that his mum would do in her desperate quest of trying to controlling her wayward son. Actually, what Sirius finds most infuriating is the ambiguity behind the length of this particular list. Knowing the list of punishments his mum has thought of, hell, even knowing the amount of punishments could give Sirius a bit of wiggle room when dealing with Malfoy. However, the blonde had purposely not made mention of anything else besides those first three points, the utter bastard.

Thinking about it, Sirius can’t imagine too much more his parents can actually do to him while he’s at Hogwarts, beyond the three things that Lucius has already listed. And to have restrictions on just those three things, while frustration sure, isn’t necessarily enough to get him to keep playing nice with Malfoy. But that smirk on Malfoy’s face hasn’t left yet, and he’s probably aware that Sirius’ adolescent mind can’t come up with more than just those three things. In a desperate bid, Sirius tries to place himself in his mum’s shoes as his mind frantically moves from one idea to another, trying to figure out the best ways she’d imagine to torture him. In the end, Sirius can’t come up with anything else given that he’s safely ensconced at Hogwarts.

This leaves Sirius with the huge decision of if he should believe Malfoy’s claims of a longer list, or not. Yet…wouldn’t it be worse if those three things are actually the extent of his mum’s torture? Because if none of those failsafes end up working then the only action left would be the marriage that Sirius so desperately fears, because Sirius is _not_ marrying Lucius bloody Malfoy. Which means…he’ll have to play nice. It’s just three more years. He can do this for three more years, hell, he’s dealt with his overbearing mum for longer than that. Yes, three years and then Malfoy will be gone and once Sirius graduates, he can run off wherever he wants because he’ll be an adult who can bloody well take care of himself.

“Alright…you win.”

“Oh?”

Sirius nods before letting out a small sigh. “Yea. I’ll…I’ll try to watch my mouth.”

“Very good,” says the blonde, before pushing over a cup of steaming tea in front of Sirius. “Have a cuppa.”

What Sirius really wants to do is throw the damn tea in Lucius Malfoy's stupid face, the smug bastard. But he doesn’t, no matter how much he wants to. The urge is so strong that Sirius’ has to bite at his bottom lip but no, that’s not enough to stop the urge, not even a little bit. His hands are practically shaking with his desires so Sirius has to curl his hands into fists and that’s…better. It helps with the shaking but now he has two fists that he can aim at Lucius' smug face instead of the tea. Feeling his fists bruising that pale flesh would be much more satisfying than dousing him with a bit of tea.

“Drink up, dear, before your tea gets cold.” Sirius glares at him and Lucius just smirks, daring Sirius to say something in that usual hotheaded fashion of his. Seconds go by, and when Sirius doesn’t say anything the smirk on Malfoy’s face grows impossibly larger. “Who knew you could be so easily tamed,” muses Malfoy, amusement dancing behind his cool eyes.

Sirius lets out a small growl but he doesn’t say anything, almost forced to bite the tip of his tongue to keep the words he wants to say from spilling past his lips. Malfoy just lets out a hum of pleasure, settling more comfortably in his seat as he enjoys the pastries and tea that are typical of these unfortunate dates of theirs.

Sirius has to dig the nails of his fingers into his hand so that he doesn’t scream.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of context for this chapter for those who do not read Irrivocably: Sirius' and James' relationship is currently on the rocks due to a dispute the two got into over James' betrothal with Severus. It's pretty clear from context already that Sirius is not fond of Severus, a fact made more frustrating because the two also share a dorm (they're in two separate Hogwarts houses but due to being male bearers they have separate accommodations from the rest of the school).

“I thought you said you’d watch that mouth of yours, Sirius.”

Sirius has been sitting in silence since he’d arrived at his bloody teatime with Lucius. Therefore, the blonde’s words have Sirius flushing in hot, quick anger. “…I haven’t even said two words to you.” Sirius bites out the words before he’s scowling down at the table.

“The news of our esteemed Headmaster’s pregnancy was a…unexpected surprise, enough even to keep your name out of the gossip mill for a few days. Evidently, the continual state of your broken relationship has spawn more than a few rumors, most tied to Severus Snape. One would have thought that by now, you and Mr. Potter would have already kissed and made up.”

“James isn’t like that,” snaps Sirius. His scowling gaze rising from the table to glare at Malfoy, the Gryffindor is as upset over the Slytherin’s words as he is at the unwelcome reminder of his best mate, because fighting or not, that’s who James is.

“Isn’t he? I hear he’s been locking lips with Severus since you lot were in primary school.”

“I don’t care what he does with prissy little Snape, so you and the rest of the school can keep me out of your weird little rumors and leave me the bloody hell alone.”

There’s a moment of silence as Malfoy stares at him with those icy blue eyes of his. Sirius can’t help the small jolt of fear that pierces through him once his brain finally catches up to what his mouth has said. What if this is the thing to tip Malfoy over the edge, like when he’d spilled his pitiful guts out to James just to have his best mate turn on him? Sirius' heart begins to frantically race, and his tongue suddenly feels trapped in his throat by the waves of anxiety running through him.

“Methinks you should learn the fine art of a carefully crafted apology, Black.”

“I…” Sirius swallows past the lump in his throat, his grey eyes dropping down to the fine china laid out in front of him. “…I’m sorry.”

“Hmph, well that’s a start. Why don’t you try that on your little Gryffindor friend and see how well it works with him?”

“What?”

“Apologize,” Lucius says simply. “To James Potter.”

“W-what!? I’m not apologiz—”

“For the utter arse I’m sure you made of yourself.”

“You weren’t even there! If anyone deserves an apology, it’s me!”

Malfoy just gives him a small little smirk. “I highly doubt that,” he says, sounding all smug and like he knows just exactly what had taken place between him and James the day that they’d gotten into this bloody mess. It’s infuriating.

Sirius manages to take a deep breath, knowing that he needs to get a handle on his anger because dealing with Malfoy is dangerous. “Why do you even care?” Sirius manages, voice much softer and more vulnerable than he would have liked but it’s too late to take back the words now.

“Would you believe me if I said I’ve grown fond of you and care for your happiness?”

“No,” says Sirius with a snort.

Malfoy laughs. “No, I suppose not,” he says, chuckling now. “You really are a piece of work, Sirius. Indeed, had I known exactly how much I may have seen fit to give Mr. Potter a trinket or two.”

“What?”

“You.” Lucius pauses to sip at his tea and by now Sirius knows to follow suit because the quickest way of ending these unfortunate meetings is to finish his tea and biscuits, or whatever treat Lucius happens to place in front of him. “I don’t think you really understand the exact nature of your position.”

“What are you talking about now?” asks Sirius with a sigh, about sick of all the little lectures and stuff that Malfoy seemed so fond of. Really, teatime wouldn’t be so bad if Malfoy would just shut up and let him enjoy the brew. Well, that and letting Sirius wear whatever he wants but he’s already resigned himself to dressing up like a pansy for these outings.

“Do you even understand how much _work_ you’ve given me this past week?” Sirius blinks at him in confusion. “I really do feel sorry for that Lupin boy. You’ve about ran him ragged with your frolicking.” 

“My frolicking? I don’t _frolic_.”

“How else would one go to explain your blissful ignorance of your position? Allowing such insignificant flies to buzz around you as though, with Mr. Potter out of the picture, they’ve spotted the perfect opportunity to take advantage of you.”

Sirius stares as Lucius in open-mouthed shock, no words escaping him before, abruptly, he’s sputtering over his own tongue. “W-what!?”

“I’ve spent more time than I care to getting rid of those pesky insects who wish to use you and your position for some ill-conceived plan. Not that such would come to pass anyway but tis always best to nip these things in the bud before you do something to embarrass me.”

“Pesky insects?” says Sirius dazedly, his brain not really able to wrap around exactly what Lucius is telling him because he’s not _Severus_. He doesn’t have to worry about such things.

“Perhaps I really should thank Mr. Potter,” Lucius musses to himself. “Regardless, what _you_ need to do is apologize to Mr. Potter so that _I_ can go back to my usual routine without having to steer you clear of inevitable disaster.”

“I—”

“I wouldn’t even need to have this conversation if Mr. Lupin wasn’t such a timid little thing, but I suppose him being a Half-blood doesn’t help. Hmm…circling sharks that smell blood in the water may be a better assessment than buzzing flies.” Sirius stares at him blankly before Lucius gives a nod towards his cuppa. “Your tea’s getting cold.”

“I don’t care about the bloody _tea_. I’m not…I’m not going to _apologize_ just because of some idiotic nonsense you’re spouting!”

“You’re going to cause a scene, dear, and you don’t want that. Now, you _will_ apologize. If not for me, then do it for yourself. Are you truly so stubborn that you’d cut off your nose just to spite your face? You’re absolutely miserable right now and it’s quite pitiful to watch. So pitiful in fact that it’s inspired _quite_ the interesting rumors. They’re amusing now, of course. But my amusement won’t last very long, Sirius.”

“Like I care about your bloody amusement,” Sirius mutters angrily, the first-year glaring down at his tea in stubborn defiance.

“Your life will be easier if you learn to,” says Malfoy, but the way he says it…as though he doesn’t really care one way or the other is what irritates Sirius the most. “But that is neither here nor there. That which is currently the most important are these rumors that weave quite the tale of just how _sad_ it is, because even if poor Sirius does have the gift and is a Black he still can’t get _James Potter_ and isn’t that just tragic? The poor boy has nursed a Herculean crush on his best mate for years, after all, but then _Severus_ just appears and well…even a Black can’t win against a Princess, right?”

Sirius stares at him flabbergasted, mouth opening and closing over nothing because the words are stuck in his throat. Lucius waits, patiently, until Sirius manages to gain control over his vocal cords. “You’re…you’re just having a laugh.”

“Am I? It’s reason enough to explain your apparent hostility towards Severus Snape when I’ve not observed the boy being the least bit rude to you which is more than I can say for yourself.”

“That…that has nothing to do with this.”

“But it does. Tell me, why do you hate Severus so much?”

“I don’t _hate_ him.”

“Despise him then. Whatever choice of word you prefer, my question still remains: Why?”

“You said it yourself, right? He’s such a Princess, it’s annoying!”

“But what does that have to do with you? I fail to see how Severus’ behavior has any bearing on your own.”

“James is my friend…” Lucius arches a pale eyebrow at Sirius before the brunette continues. “He’s such an idiot, acting all besotted and stuff like the whole world suddenly revolves around Severus Snape, ugh.”

“So, it’s just jealousy then? I’m sure at one point, Mr. Potter’s world must have revolved around you.”

“That’s not…that’s not what I mean,” says Sirius, but he doesn’t deny the words because it had been like that at one point. From as far back as he can remember, he and James had gotten on like a house on fire. “James is completely _gone_ on Severus. I realized it after we’d graduated from primary and Severus was hugging Reggie—"

“Reggie?”

“Regulus, my brother,” says Sirius with a sigh. This is the first time that he’s actually decided to share anything with Lucius Malfoy. “James just had this, this stupid look on his face and ever since then, I keep seeing it _over and over_ when he looks at Snape and it just pisses me off so bloody much because Snape just looks back at him like he’s just talking to anyone else and not my best mate whose stupidly _in love_ with him.”

“They are betrothed, and surely after graduating, they won’t waste too much time before tying the knot. Mr. Potter’s adoration will make what could have been an awkward courtship,” Lucius pauses to give Sirius a pointed look. “More bearable for the both of them.”

“You mean more bearable for Severus, but James is going to be the one torn up about it when Severus runs off with some woman.”

Lucius lets out a startled laugh. “I highly doubt that.”

“Yea, yea. Laugh about it if you want but his mum did it and the only reason she came back is to use James so that Severus can get all this stupid attention like he’s a bloody Princess or something. Marie’s a Half-blood. She doesn’t have a contract and her and Severus are together _all the time_ and—”

“So, does that mean I should be suspicious of how much time you spend with Mr. Potter?”

“What? No. I’ve already told you, we’re mates, and I don’t even _like_ boys so…”

“Then you shouldn’t judge Severus in the same way. In fact, I think it has less to do with the actions of his mother and more to do with your own actions that have you so suspicious of him.”

“My own actions? What are you talking about?”

“Since the day we became betrothed, you’ve made it clear that you have no intention of fulfilling our contract and, as you love to remind me, you’re a boy. Sirius Black, if you even _think_ about running off and marrying some girl I will chase you down and _flay the skin off of your body_ for the insult.”

“W-what!? You can’t do that!”

“Why not? You’re a _boy_ , aren’t you? If you back out of this contract you won’t just have to worry about your dear old mum, believe me. The Potters left Eileen Prince to her own devices when they certainly didn’t have to. I assure you that myself and my family, we’re nothing like the Potters. If you even _look_ at a woman for too long, I’ll wring that little neck of yours.”

“W-what?” stutters Sirius, eyes wide and hands trembling a bit because Malfoy looks absolutely _furious_. Every line in his face seems to be etched in granite and his cold, cold eyes are like flint gleaming back at him. “You can’t…you can’t do that,” he says, voice weak and wobbly over the words. Sirius doesn’t think about it very often, because he doesn’t like to put himself in the female category _at all_ , but men aren’t supposed to lay hands on the gifted. Well, in Professor Slytherin’s case it’s different but that’s because he decided to live his life as a male by marrying Bellatrix but…

“We’re to be wed. There is no fault in a man taking his fiancée in hand if the situation presents itself.” And it’s true. Because amongst spouses and to a lesser extent amongst betrothals, such behavior (while usually kept well behind closed doors), is entirely acceptable. “Stop acting like a spoiled brat and go apologize to Mr. Potter before I’m forced to wrangle some sense into you. Now, drink up, dear.”

Oh. Sirius is…Sirius is bloody _furious_. He wants to jump across the table so that he can wrap his fingers around Malfoy and wring _his_ neck. Yea, it’d be great if he could shove Malfoy’s pompous attitude back in his stupidly smug face while he’s at it too, but Sirius knows he can’t. He wants to. Oh, he wants to so badly that his hands are shaking with it but…he can’t.

When Malfoy arches a pale brow and looks down at Sirius’ tea expectedly, Sirius has to dig the nails of his fingers into his hand so that he doesn’t scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Professor Slytherin is Tom Riddle, who took the name Slytherin since he's Slytherin's hair. Also, he's a male bearer in this universe if that hasn't been mentioned before.


End file.
